Just me

So what do you do when you feel all alone?
He is gone. My best-friend of 5 years. No, not dead, just gone. The openness and closeness we had seemed to evaporate into thin air. We still speak on occasion, but it is like I am talking to a stranger.
Nothing is confided in any longer, nothing is comfortable anymore. This new girl that has entered his life seems to be controlling him. He feels she supports him in whatever he wants to do, yet he is always stressed when we talk claiming that it causes problems for them. How can that be if she is supposedly so understanding and supportive? Is it that I am a female, that his best-friend was not a man?

So, he is gone. I know he has been traumatized by loosing the first love of his life. Now all the girls I have witnessed him with are almost a mirror image of that one girl. So it is very hard for me to respect his choices in girl-friends. They all circle the same age range, body type, body art, activities,  insecurities, childishness...
"Look at me, I am a ballerina" then she spins around with her hands in the air. What is she 5? My last night visiting with him the last time I was in town, she did this as an attempt for his attention, after she changed her clothes into something more sexy. I wanted to scream at her... WE AREN'T LOVERS YOU DIM WHITED CHILD!!! Best-friends... I am not a threat to you. He wont leave you for me, we are FRIENDS! It is my last night in town, leave us in peace already!!!
We visit or use to visit with each other 3 to 4 times a year. We don't live that close to each other. Over 20 hours traveling time on trains and ferries to visit, so it doesn't happen all that often for us to be face to face.

The next visit is usually brought up when one ends. This time I was with my family, so we had other arrangements for where to stay. Normally I when I go there, I stay with him. When the next visit was brought up, he said staying with him would be a problem. So with her in his life, I am no longer welcome to stay at his house.
I don't think I will continue with the next visit. It was to be in November.

How can I just back off and not take it personally the way things have changed?
He told me he is still here. I haven't lost him, but he is wrong. I have lost him. I am alone again.