Just me

Been slacking I have. Thats not good.
I need to try to get focused and back into a good routine!

Some things I would never tolorate, and I am not. Yet my mind keeps screaming to not let go.

My mind should know better.

This is driving me batty. You know I have never been so sensitive over a friendship before.
I am not sure what will help, but I feel like I am going mental.
I am doing things, hobbies, reading books, taking walks. On top of my normal daily life. I can't get him or the downfall of our friendship out of my head!
Were still on speaking basis, but no where near what we were and my mind is screaming at me. I am not sure how I got so dependant on another person. I mean this has NEVER happend to me before with anyone. Not even when my ex husband and I broke apart. Or when my current one drifted away with an emotional affair that has kinda crippled our emotional connection.

Is this some cosmic connection or does age just really mess with your emotional side?

Calming down about things. I wonder if my mind is getting it or I am just going numb about it. I guess it really doesn't matter as long as I am calmer.
I still don't get a lot of it. I know how he is with me, so for him to sit by and not meet me half way to help make this easier is beyond me, but such is life I guess.

On to other things.
The kids are out of school for a week. Time to focus on them more.  :)

Kids, party, movies, hot dogs and cake.
Enough to drive a mommy mad  :P

Sat, relaxed, had a cup of tea with a friend.
Was nice to forget about all the crap for a little while.

Thats the word of the day. Well not here. I don't really plan on not posting anymore yet.
There are just a few things I need to say good-bye to right now.
Don't really want to, but seems no other way. Out with the bad in with the... what? Hopefully something good will come out of this.

So good-bye. Love you forever.

I wanna sleep, but can't. Seems my mind wont shut it. I hear everything. The floors creaking, the clock, my husband breathing. Not to mention every little itch, tickle and annoyance you can think of that will keep you awake.
The thing is I am tired. So why can't I just pass out? *sigh*

Feeling better about things today. I am a bit up and down about all this stuff, which is quite annoying. So hopefully this accepting mood I am in best stay.
I over heard some stuff that I ummm, really didn't want to hear. People need to learn to leave rooms when they get a call and have an open mic on sometimes. I don't understand Swedish all that well, but I understood enough to get the jist of the conversation. I wasn't trying to easdrop, but the open mic and they were talking right next to it, so it was very clear and hard to ignor.

It really really wasn't something I wanted to hear. After thinking about what was said, it made me glad I am where I am with my friend. Not gonna go into detail, but I think it was actually a good thing I heard and understood a bit of it. It gave a bit of clarity.

Yay!

Well, feeling a bit sick to my stomach. Over heard something today that I really really didn't want to hear.
My life is just a bowl of cherries lately.